I find the arguments against the passing of the homosexuality law in Africa, very shallow. Usually, most critics of homosexuality in Africa argue that it is not our culture and that the white man eroded our traditional religion with his Christianity and again, wants us to embrace what is not our culture. But as I argue time and time again, I feel like culture is really what we make it. Culture does not make a people. In every hair salon that I have visited in Ghana, Liberia and in Nigeria, I have seen at least, one gay man. Why would we therefore say that it is not our culture?
It is right in front of our very eyes. I have seen men who do not behave as manly or macho as the African culture will want that man to behave. I have seen men who find extreme joy in making women feel beautiful in their salons although within our cultural context, hairdressing and makeup, is actually a woman’s trade. I have seen men who enjoy the company of ladies and actually behave like girls when it comes to conversations involving crushes on cute boys. I have had friends who from infancy, even without knowing what it means to be gay or homosexual and actually know that they are supposed to like people of the opposite sex, find themselves talking like me and gushing over boys that I find cute too. These are people who have no exposure to the white man or do not even have televisions and therefore, have no way of being ‘lured’ by Westerners like we claim in Africa. My point is that there are so many events and behaviors that are not typically, the African culture, but somehow, we make excuses for those and accept them, but find it difficult to accept homosexuality.
I find it really sickening that Africans should be afraid to love who they love and stand the risk of being judged or worse, loosing their lives and most typically, family support. I find it embarrassing that in this day and age, people are still shunned because of their sexual preferences and have to hide their true identity in order to be accepted by the community that they have known all their lives.
This week, I came across a post that started with a sentence to the effect that despite the fact that many African girls waste time in prayer camps, praying for marriage, some two fine boys thought it wise to marry each other. I was disappointed but not shocked when I scrolled down to read the many comments in support of that very ridiculous post. I feel that when it comes to sexual preferences, many Africans are hypocrites. Homosexuality is really all around us, we are just failing to see it and forcing people to kowtow to a culture that they do not particularly enjoy.
In class, I was so embarrassed to state that homosexuality is still frowned upon in my society and that homosexuals risk their lives by coming forward and behaving in the subtle of ways that suggest that they prefer people that they share the same gender with. In my opinion, homosexuality is being fought against largely in Africa because we believe it is not our culture, which is where my problem with protesters of the homosexuality law, lies. How do we tell a person who has been exposed to the ‘typical African culture’ all of his or her life, and does not know any other culture, but still prefers people of the same gender as him or herself, that he or she cannot be happy because what he or she likes, is not a part of the culture?
What I claim to be my culture makes me very proud and extremely happy. I find it sad that that same culture, that belongs to another member of my community, will be the source of sorrow in that person’s life. What we call our African culture should make room for every body; every African should find joy and pride in their culture. And this starts from allowing our culture to be flexible enough to embrace everyone’s preferences.