– Or A Response to ‘The White Raven’ and Sophomore Retrospective –
A while back I posted a desperate, flow-of-thought post about how I was wasting the first few days of being 19. This is a response to that desperation.
Well, kid, you made it. The end of Sophomore Year. Sitting pretty at the table in the lounge you love, with the people you love, listening to…The Sound of Music. Which you hate. It’s all good though. It’s been one hell of a year.
There’s been a lot of struggling and messes made, but hell if it weren’t worth it. You’ve strengthened your friendships, survived Proper Math, and started working towards a career in publishing. And enjoyed every single minute of it.
Well, okay, maybe not every single minute, but most of them. The good ones – hearing about El and H’s trips and travesties in Riva, re-watching The Lord of The Rings, hiking the cascades and falling in. Cook-out late nights, lunches with old friends, coffee with the mentor, and conquering Dragon’s Tooth (with only minimal terror). True, El and H were gone, you had your share of Bad Days, and American Lit drove you insane. As did Statistics.
But you wrote more than you ever did in High School. You created characters that you cared about and want to work on. You have secured a job for next semester and the summer. You won’t be working as a lifeguard, you have some of the strongest friendships you’ve ever had, and you’ve made a home here.
You have a home here.
I want to stress to you, future or past E, that nothing you do is a waste of time, if you are enjoying it. Nothing you have done with your friends, no moment of procrastination, nothing, as long as it does not harm the work you need to do, or harm those around you. There will come a point (and there always does) when you will think to yourself, “I am worthless and wasting every second of time I have.” The only true time wasted is the time spent dwelling on this idea, because, really, you just miss your friends and are being a poor sport about it.
Call them up, play a game with them, use the communication tools at your fingertips. Just don’t lose any time to your worries – most of them do not matter in the grand scheme of it.
And, worse come to worst, write about it. That always seems to help.