Goo Gone

Thought this would be fun.

Andy,

I do not have gorilla glue, or this Goo Gone that you speak of. I can however recommend a variety of different things that would work as a substitute for the shoes:
Hobbit feet: known to stand up to the fires of Mordor. Unlike our puny feet these feet would work much better. I suggest going to ORCS N MORE in Gondor.
Stilts: need a few extra inches? These get the job done and see over crowds. I suggest going to the CIRCUS MAXIMUS they have the biggest brands. (they have: “MY BRAND”)
Shackles: these don’t always send the right message, but if you’re into that sort of thing….. “Schlage” is your store.
Silver: it has a low melting point and you can eventually become the silver surfer. I would talk to Devon in the Foundry to unlock this side quest.
Casts: they are very durable and will protect your feet, but they don’t quite scratch that itch for you?
and finally:
Raptor Jesus: he will absolve you of all your shoe sins. Watch out though as his second coming will really bite.
Hope this helps,
[HRCNBD]
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